Friday, May 25, 2018

Mother's Day Without Mason & My Mom

Mother's Day was very emotional for me this year.  It started early the week of with myself just thinking that I should already have two kids at home; not one here, one in heaven.  I think of Mason often and wonder what his personality would have been like.  At 21 weeks, when I delivered him, he already looked so much like Grady.  Grady often says that he misses him and wishes he got to play with him; breaks my heart.  It made me reflect on the last three years and the tough times we have had.  These hard times have made my marriage stronger and my family stronger.

Jesse asked me Friday night what I wanted to do for Mother's Day and I told him nothing.  I just wasn't feeling like celebrating; I was super emotional and just sad about the day.  Saturday I woke up and decided that I do have things to celebrate.  I'm a momma to a sweet blonde hair blue eyed ornery boy and will be a mom of another boy here shortly.  So I decided that we would relax in the morning and then go to Outback for a Mother's Day lunch and just kind of spend the day together.

I woke up Sunday morning to a little boy that was so very excited to give me his presents.  He made me a hand print sun saying 'You are my sunshine' at daycare and filled out a Mother's Day card and made his hand print/foot print at school. He was so darn proud and I LOVED it.  Jesse got me the new Joanna Gaines cookbook that I wanted...we are very excited to try some recipes.  We went to Outback for lunch and ran to Buy Buy Baby to grab a few things then we headed home to relax.

Overall, it was a good Mother's Day.  It will always be a day that it hard for me because of the loss of my mom and losing a child.  But I just have to remind myself that I have a boy here and I'm so very thankful for that.  Hope all you momma's out there were spoiled and had a great day!

Friday, May 18, 2018

32 Weeks Pregnant & Life Update...

32 weeks anxiety from this pregnancy has subsided quite a bit after hitting the 24 week mark.  I've had several ultrasounds and many appointments just to keep my mind at ease and I think that has helped so much.  I've been feeling pretty good but failed my 3 hour glucose test so I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  I'm on my fourth week of tracking food and tracking my blood sugar and for the most part it is going okay. My next appointment is Tuesday and I'm pretty sure they will put me on medicine.  She was telling me at my last appointment that even if I have one number high then medicine is the next answer; I can't seem to keep my fasting number down.

I'm been feeling pretty good.  I just get tired pretty easily so I take lots of breaks especially when working around the house.  Sleeping is going okay.  The last week or so I've been having MAJOR hip pain.  I can only lay on one side for maybe an hour and then I have to switch sides; so there is a lot of  tossing and turning throughout the night.  Monday I went to the Zoo with Grady's preschool class.  Grady and I ended up walking a little over 3 miles so I've been recovering from that..LOL!  He had a great time at the zoo and it was fun to watch him interact with his classmates.
We've finally started to get baby stuff out and I'm going to start washing clothes this weekend.  Jesse is going to work on putting the crib, changing table, and dresser together and will start painting next week.  We don't have a lot to paint in Easton's room (just the trim/doors).  They scheduled my c-section at my last doctor's appointment so that makes it super real!  I was measuring at 32 weeks at my 30 week appointment (I was actually 30 weeks & 4 days).  Easton is super high so they weren't surprised that I was measuring a little bigger.  Grady was the exact same way and he came out at 7 lbs 5 oz, so right now I'm not too worried.

Baloo ended up tearing his other ACL really bad about 2 weeks ago.  He isn't walking the greatest and continues to be confined to the front room or his kennel.  We have to take him out on a leash to potty and poor guy doesn't get to play.  We have a appointment today to find out when surgery will be.  I'm hoping that after this second surgery he will be good to go.  Luckily, we haven't (previously) had any health issues with Baloo.  He's just a dog that really enjoyed jumping and playing Frisbee and that lead to him tearing his first ACL.  So no more Frisbee for him ever..which is pretty sad because he LOVES Frisbees.  But we have to do what is best for him.
Grady has been doing pretty well.  We have been working through some issues and he is doing pretty great.  A HUGE improvement from January/February.  He's excited to be a big brother and to turn five years old.  We are in the process of planning his fifth birthday party..which proves to be a little difficult.  It's hard to find something to do for five year olds in Indianola.  He is wanting to have a friend party this year so I'm trying to find something that will entertain a bunch of 5 year olds!  His theme this year is police this momma needs to start planning.  We are going to do his party in mid June before the baby comes and will celebrate with our family on his actual birthday (hopefully)...still not sure on this because we will have a new baby and a dog recovering from surgery.  Our house is going to be BUSY this summer.  Grady will be done with his in home daycare on July 3rd as he is going to stay home with me while I'm on maternity leave and then he will do after care at school in the fall.  This is going to be a change for him but make my days a lot less stressful.  Right now, I drop him off at school, leave for lunch to pick him up and drop him off at daycare, and then back to daycare after work to pick him back up.  Right now it's only 3 days a week; I can't imagine doing it 5 days!!  Easton will go to Diana's (Grady's daycare provider) as we just love her so much!

Grady's personality is in full bloom.  I LOVE to listen to him talk and listen to the things he comes up with.  He is very bossy (gets it from his momma, Meemaw, and Great Grandma Sandy).  He says the funniest things and he is so sweet sometimes...other times not so much!  But that's life with a toddler.  I told him I can't call him a toddler anymore when he turns five...he will be a big kid.  He's excited for that title.  Every night before bed he gives me a hug and a kiss and whispers in my ear, 'I love you mommy with all my heart'.  Told ya, he could be so sweet.  He can have such an attitude sometimes I want to scream and now that it's so nice outside we have a hard time getting him to come inside!  This morning he was outside playing before heading to daycare.  We are going to have a great summer with him home with me!
Grady talks about heaven A LOT.  He told me the other day that he can't wait to see his brother again some day (Mason).  We talk about his Mee-maw and how much she loved him and how much she LOVED being a grandma and of course I tell him stories about my grandparents and Bear is an everyday subject.  Grady told me last week that he wants a dog just like Beary.  We all sure do miss that pup! He told me a few weeks ago that he worries about his Beeba; he told me he didn't want him to go to heaven yet.  I have no idea what prompted this but it hurt my heart.  I hate that he worries about things; especially death.  He's too young to have these worries; I just want him to live life and be a 4.5 year old!

We are headed to the cemetery this weekend to do some decorating.  We haven't been there since the beginning of December and I hate that it's been that long. The Buckeye area got TONS or snow this year and it was so cold.  I'm excited to get it decorated and all pretty as it will be the last time I'm up there for a while. Going there is just so peaceful for me and just my way of spending time with my mom, son, and grandparents.  Grady is excited to pick out some flowers for his Meemaw and wants to get something special for his brother.  Hope you all have a great weekend!

Monday, May 7, 2018

Easton's Baby Shower...

My sister-in-law, Shelby, with the help of Jesse's Aunt and cousin, Ashley & Carla (and Emery), and my best friend from high school, Jessica, threw baby Easton a baby shower this weekend.  It was so much fun to catch up with friends and family.  We played a few games, ate some yummy food, and opened gifts.  Grady was such a big helper at the shower and looked so handsome.  Thank you everyone for coming!!  Photo dump below!!